No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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