you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
