bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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