I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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