if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
