hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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