new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
