spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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