He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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