Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
