there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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