Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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