# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Drunk is a universal language darling
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
