I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
