He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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