he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
