i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
