WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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