I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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