but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We're too hungover to prance.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize