he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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