I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize