Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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