When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that's an acceptable place to lick
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
