If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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