woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
