ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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