New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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