I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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