So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
