I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
