Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
