i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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