You can't motorboat a personality
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
