The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize