i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
