I just threw up on my dentist
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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