And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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