I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
