How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
