Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
