i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
