why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
