bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
