Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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