Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently you make a good broom.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
