Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
