I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
