That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
