I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
