Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
