So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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