SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
