Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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