my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
