I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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