I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize