he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i barfeds in our rink
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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